Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
