Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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