He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
