You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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