well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
