Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
