When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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