I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
