hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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