They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize