he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sorry my hands just texted you
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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