Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
