Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
