I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
