Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
