we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
