so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
