Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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