We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
