He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
