so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize