I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize