Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
