we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
