How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
