Dual....:-)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Never joke about your clitoris.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize