The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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