I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it's like iHOP with fire
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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