i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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