What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
