butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
