I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
