32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
