Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
