Even the bartender felt bad for me
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
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You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"