Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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