We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
