Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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