Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
