very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
