Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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