I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
