My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
