Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
