It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
