its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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