i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize