I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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