Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I checked into jail on foursquare
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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