Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
