so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
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He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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