Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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