YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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