ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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