he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The dick lei will go down in squad history
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
