glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
