I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I need a beard to bite.
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