Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Randomize
