So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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