I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
