walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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