you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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