If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
