Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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