i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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