a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
