His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
