An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
