dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
