she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
